Ticking Clock... nope...Mary, Undoer of Knots

I've been coming up from the knockout of CD1 and feeling pretty good, doing my best to give the struggle of IF to God.  The sunshine has helped today.  But I ran across that fateful phrase today when looking into some vitamin supplements, "after 35 a woman's fertility declines rapidly."  Aaaand that ticking clock, tummy ache thing came back.  It's hard to describe what I feel physically when I stress myself out with fertility like this.  The best I can describe is a knot in my stomach that tightens and loosens but I just can't seem to ever really get rid of.  When I see a new baby or hear of a pregnancy announcement it gets really tight and almost physically painful and when I'm in a good place of prayer and surrender I feel it as soon as I think about it again.

Last fall I came across a title of Mary that I hadn't heard before.  She has been called "Mary, Undoer of Knots"  Learn more about where the image came from and what it's come to mean in our time here.  I heard this 3 different places within a month or two.  I haven't really thought about it for months.  Apparantly our current pope is a big fan of the image of Mary, Undoer of Knots.

Hmmmm

So I think this post is a really good example of the Holy Spirit working through blogging... I sat down to complain about biological clocks ticking/woe is me, etc and somehow that idea got hijacked and it became all about prayer and Mary and her ability to help us with the knots in our lives.  I guess I'll start looking into the novena, even if the prayers don't end in a pregnancy, I could sure use some help with this knot :)

Cycle Saints and Prayer

Yeah, I know it's not a conventional thing to do.  I've been using Jen Fulwiler's Saint Generator to find a saint  for each cycle.  I liked the idea of having one for the whole year, but I wanted to befriend more saints, learn about more of them and ask for more prayers.  So when AF arrives I get to go find out which one I will learn about and pray with for the next 34ish days.

So far there's been some fun coincidences, as there is likely to be with a faith that is so tangible and relevant on a day to day basis.  Here's a few.

• The first time I did it I got my confirmation sain,t who's my usual go to, and I had done the generator to find someone new.  There she was... St. Therese :)
• I had St. Josephine Bakhita once and her feast day landed around peak day of that cycle.
• St. Teresa of Avila is up now and in the book I'm reading (Love&Salt) the 2 women quote her and talk about her quite a bit.

I like this little ritual, it makes me feel as if so many in heaven are ready to listen, especially when I need it most.

I've also been feeling called to pray the rosary on a daily basis because of a few different experiences.  I fall asleep with a rosary in my hand every night but I'm lucky if I get past the 3 opening hail mary's mainly because of being so distracted at that time.  It's something I'll have to work on.

I'm also hopping on board the St. Gianna novena (thanks to the blog Making God Laugh) which starts tonight.  I printed out the prayers and will keep the paper on my nightstand in an effort to hit every night.  I love the idea of novenas but I can't tell you how many I've started and not finished.  

So I guess the key to all of this is to be more consistent in my prayer!