Making it Known

Phew it's been too long since I blogged, but I promise it's because the last 3 weeks have been spent packing, travelling, unpacking, doing laundry, having a guest, painting the house and other projects. This is one of the first days in awhile that I've actually sat down at the computer in an afternoon.

I learned something important while spending time with my extended family.  It's easier to just have IF out there sometimes.  God works through people and in my case, especially family.  I have been blessed in so many ways to have all of the family I do.  My mom has made it known on her side, I think, that we're struggling with SIF.  I wasn't sure what, if anything, has been said to my dad's.  From the couple conversations I've had recently, I don't think anything.  I'm not saying that this is good or bad, I just didn't know who knew, so to speak.

Sooo long story short, a couple of my cousins and aunt found my blog (I admit a part of me hoped they would).  Having my aunt give me a prayer card of Mary, Undoer of Knots that she just happened to come by when asking a friend to pray for us was something that made me feel incredibly thankful and relieved.  I'm thankful for all the prayers that are being said for me and for us right now by so many people.  [As a sidenote, I'm also struck by how crosses are crosses and everyone has them.  My aunt and her daughters don't struggle with IF and relate to me in that way but I'm sure they have their own struggles.  I was touched that she took me aside and told me that they were keeping me in their prayers.]

Another element to having it out there to anyone, family, friend, etc, is that I know I'm not being judged.  One of the most disconcerting things for me in the IF struggle is that someone might think I'm contracepting, or not open to life or that I just don't dig the mom thing or something.  I've had people ask me when the next one is coming and it makes me feel like I'm in trouble or something.  I know I shouldn't be worried about other people's judgements, but I can't help it sometimes, darn human nature!

One more thing- the day that I talked to my aunt was also the day that we had family mass (my uncle is a priest and he says masses at our huge annual-ish family gatherings).  I was asked to read and this is what I was given.  My voice didn't crack, but it was close.  Probably also because I had just started my period the day before and we all know how emotionally stable we are around that time.

Reading 2 Rom 5:1-5

Brothers and sisters:
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith,
we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
through whom we have gained access by faith
to this grace in which we stand,
and we boast in hope of the glory of God.
Not only that, but we even boast of our afflictions,
knowing that affliction produces endurance,
and endurance, proven character,
and proven character, hope,
and hope does not disappoint,
because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts
through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

So I read this at Mass and then I received the prayer card from my aunt later on.  I'd say that the Lord was keeping me in mind.  As I read I couldn't help but wonder if anyone knew what my "affliction" was.  Well a few did and made it abundantly clear that I'm blessed because they know.


Shout out to aunt M, T.H. and M.S. if you girls are reading :)